I think the lack of updates shows two things: a) I haven’t really had anything to complain about and b) it means life has been good. Of course, I’ve had a few small misfortunes here and there but in retrospect they were small and insignificant so there’s no need to explain them. Now that I am updating, you (maybe) can guess that something is up. Who is this “you” I am referring to? I don’t know, but that does not matter here.
Emotions are such a bother. This is not the first time I have said this, but I have to say it nevertheless. Emotions such as love, anger, jealousy, and hate get in the way of a lot of things. These feelings cause people to do irrational things, things they would not have done in the first place if they weren’t so blinded by emotion. Most people can control their emotions to a fair extent, some can’t, and some can control them extremely well. At the moment, I am between fair and extremely well. My emotion is telling me to “just do it” and take a risk, but my moral sense is telling me to wait and just wait. Since I am not saying the topic, it is pretty confusing. I shall reveal a little bit more. It involves “love” in a sense. Now, love is a very strong word and I don’t believe it should be used for something like this. Perhaps a crush or something of that sort. Anyway, emotions cloud judgement. People hear what they want to hear, see what they want to see, and believe what they want to believe. Knowing this, I have generally been wary of “signals” a girl may seem to give to a guy. When you’re not infatuated with a girl yourself, it’s pretty freaking easy to do.
I made a promise with myself not to get a girlfriend in first year. Heck, somehow that seems to translate to a few more years after that. This girl boggles my mind. I am not sure why. She is far from perfect, and in many respects not the best girl to have as a…girlfriend but then again, the imperfect things make a person perfect. I think I tend to go for the same type of girl each time…do I know why? No, not at all.
The only possible good side to all this is that I have found out that I can be nice (as strange as it sounds). Now I am not sure if I am nice to those I like or what, but I’ve been doing more “good deeds” lately and well…this is just quite weird to me. Another odd note I seem to want to add (having just realized) is that when it comes to public transit, I love riding it alone. Whether it is the Canada Line, the Skytrain, or a bus being by myself there is just…liberating. I get to think and anything annoying just disappears.
Thank god for the U-pass then.