Why do you exist?

Why do you exist? A question that has been burrowed in my mind since probably the third grade and chooses to show itself at random intervals similar to a burrowing owl jumping in and out of its hole. Sometimes at interesting moments, but mostly at really annoying ones. As this is being typed up I laugh at the thought of placing that question in my “list of questions” for “Portraits of UBC“. The closest question to that I’ve asked is “If you were to have a life purpose, what do you think your life purpose would be?”. I think it was a pretty big stumper (for the most part) if I recall correctly.

Being basically halfway through an undergrad degree may be comparable to a mid-life crisis in the sense that you’re halfway through some sort of critical moment of life. I’ve found myself thinking more and more about what I am going to be/may be doing after graduation. The problem I am having is that I am jumping from one possible “career path” to another, from one segment of society to a completely unrelated one. Originally in high school, I didn’t want to deal with having to make decisions so I wanted to find a nice, well paying job working for someone else. Once I hit grade 12, I began to think about the idea of “being the boss” so to speak. Now being in university, I crave to be able to make the decisions; the main reasoning behind that is being able to learn new things constantly and meeting new people by my own choice (there is a kind of freedom to that).

Now check this out this list starting from grade 10 (order may be a bit skewed since memory isn’t all THAT dependable). I’ve wanted to be:

  1. a soldier (if you can count that as a career)/a peacekeeper in the United Nations
  2. something within the United Nations
  3. a teacher (something I still would like to do, but not as a main source of income)
  4. a door to door salesman (screams old fashioned)
  5. a real estate agent (still not out of the question)
  6. a writer (I think most people if not all have this dream at one point)
  7. an architect
  8. an engineer
  9. an interpretor
  10. an aid worker for an NGO
  11. a journalist
  12. a photojournalist (admittedly the idea still plays a pretty big role in my life right now)
  13. a photographer
  14. an entrepreneur
  15. a marketer
  16. a diplomat
  17. an independent business owner
The main problem I can think of is that I was never really all that serious about any of these choices. The best word to describe this would probably be “daydream”. All these possibilities were “daydreams” based on best case scenarios. Assuming everything went the way I wanted them to, I would be satisfied with what I would be doing. Heck I would probably love whatever it was that I would be doing. Of course, we all realize at one point or another (some more than others) that things never purely go the way you want them to. That’s life. For quite a while now I’ve been the kind of guy who rarely makes any sort of defined plan. I go where the wind blows me. I go with the flow. I do things on a whim. The problem (or the result, and I usually stick with “result”) is that things have generally worked out pretty well for me thus far. I like surprises and doing things on a whim can often lead to pleasant encounters that are downright impossible to really plan.
That being said, I may only be able to get away with that for only so long and I’ll leave it at that. If I don’t figure things out, I blog about it. If I do figure things out, I won’t blog about it anyway. Well maybe I will.
In other news, I’m a brony. Google it and find out what it is on Urban Dictionary. Probably not something one would admit freely, but the show is hilarious.
Advertisements

One thought on “Why do you exist?”

  1. Your post brings to mind something that I read the other from Henry Kissinger: ‘Don’t be too ambitious. Do the most important thing you can think of doing every year and then your career will take care of itself.’

    While I’m slightly sceptical about that guarantee — you’ve got to plan ahead to get into med school, after all — it makes sense to do what you feel most strongly about as the opportunities come up. I’ve noticed the closer I get to the end of my degree, the more uncertain I am about what I’ll do from here. But I’ve never regretted doing the things that I really care about and changing my plans around those, even when they make no sense to the people around me. Those have probably been the best parts of my university career. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s