I think most people (if not all) have a certain draw to stories. Stories come in many forms: books, news, history, gossip, and music. Many stories have happy endings; many stories have sad endings. Many of the same stories have multiple endings. Regardless, a good story will always draw attention. That’s one of the things I have come to believe in.
I still cannot shake off this feeling of non-permanance ever since coming back from China. Despite having started school and hanging out with friends here a lot. I’ve had a lot of fun since whenever the heck I started feeling like a stranger here and that feeling of strangeness still persists. Do I feel like I belong? I’m not sure. Do I feel like I don’t belong? Still not sure. That being said, it’s really stopped being all that important. Call it an identity crisis, mid-life university crisis, or a changing point in life (or perhaps even all of the above) but time keeps going and caring for too long is just unhealthy. It’s always helpful having sets of codes to follow. Mine are a mix of conflicting and, possibly, sometimes hypocritical responses to situations. What’s nice about having multiple sets of codes is being able to swap one set for another depending on those situations. Best of all, they’re adaptable for changing “trends”. Without codes, life is confusing.
Being confused about life sucks; I can hardly imagine a time when it isn’t. I wish I could say I discovered an easy fix for anybody that will work but I haven’t and I very much doubt the existence of such a possibility. Actually, that’s a lie. The solution is very simple in the sense that it’s just the way it is. Finding your own unique combination of things that make that solution your own is the hard part. Simply put, the solution is just having something to do. You read that and are probably going “What? That’s it? No there has to be something more to it than that.” Well, you’re right. The solution is a combination of being busy and engaged. It’s all about doing whatever it is that both keeps you busy and gives you a sense of satisfaction (a meaningful return of some sort). It’s all been said and done before, but goals help. Any sort of goal helps. Crazy goals, realistic goals, pointless goals (pointless in the sense that it doesn’t do anything beneficial in the “real, adult” world, bungee jumping as one let’s just say; all that is completely arguable of course), and goals that exist just because they exist. Now here are lists of some of my goals and what I believe in. I would prefer to write them down for myself, but I realized I really need something to get me kickstarted back into blogging with words again.
- be able to speak at least 5 languages (not including English or Mandarin) fluently just for the sake of being able to
- spend an entire night out with friends from midnight until the 12:00pm without falling asleep (without alcohol involved)
- make a positive difference in as many different people and different ways as possible
- travel to every continent in the world at least 2 times (antarctica is included)
- not get too bored with life
- go on a roadtrip
- for starters, stories
- gut feeling
- your momma
- and I’ll avoid the cheesy one (being friends)