As the title suggests, I leave for Iceland in eight days. I’ve already started packing/preparation and already, a few things have happened. A few weeks ago I handed in my letter of resignation to the part time job I’ve been working at. I expected to leave and come back with no job whatsoever. On Sunday I found out that I could indeed quit, but my employer suggested I stay on as I am classified as a student still and it would make more sense to stay on as a student until later on in the year. When that time comes, I can decide. It’s not really that big of a loss since the student position is really flexible. Can’t work because I need to “study”. A bit bummed I didn’t actually quit in the end, but on the flip-side I will still have a means of getting some cash flowing in when I get back. Not the most ideal way as I am trading time for money (and not a lot at that), but it’s one way. Plus, I was only working weekends anyway.
Moving on to something else, more personal. I think we can all relate to looking back and seeing our present selves as different from our past selves; in the sense that our values, opinions, and/or goals have changed. Usually (at least for me) it’s an instant realization that “hey I don’t enjoy this anymore”, “wow, I remember disliking this before”, or “jeez I wish I knew this when I was younger”. Ok, maybe that last one is a bit iffy. It makes me seem like an old fart (no disrespect intended old farts, I’ll be one too) and I’m still pretty young technically speaking. The past few days I’ve felt myself in the process of changing. I’m beginning to understand the direction my future self will take in terms of personality. It’s weird. I feel like I’m almost watching myself in the form of a plot/plot development. I suppose that’s what life can be described as though, a plot development.
Tangent aside, I am feeling and watching my values and goals change. Age. Mature. Grow. Die. Take shape. Begin. Stagnate. It’s bizarre. The changes are rapid and slow. Easy and hard to accept. Some of these changes were made by my own decisions. Others just happened. I’m watching my view of life change. I’m also watching my view of life solidify. A lot of questions arise as a result of this. I am able to see myself in the third person and ask questions. Why do I hold that belief? What makes that important to me? Is that even important to me? What makes that valuable to me? Is that really who I want to be?
Right now, I am really questioning my current set of necessities vs. wants. There are two aspects to this for me, possessions and ideas. Possessions are pretty straightforward. Do I need this item? Or do I just want it because of reasons XYZ? The ideas aspect is more along the lines of “Do I need to know this?” With things like Google or Wolfram Alpha at our fingertips, do I need to remember certain kinds of information? Or do I just want to know them? Do I need to keep a learning attitude? Or do I just want to because other people have said so? Or is it just because I want to keep a learning attitude? Is it necessary for me to have a more independent lifestyle? Or do I just want to? There is a bit more to it than that at the moment, but at 2am that’s all I’m going to flesh out.